I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I need water and some morals
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
The ass gains better be worth it
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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