Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
