My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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