I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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