We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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