There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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