I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
