my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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