Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
