Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
