I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
