the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize