so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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