im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
