I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
