the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize