when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
