He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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