so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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