WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize