My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
