he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I want to be your penis for a week.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
