i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Randomize
