Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
