im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
