He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
