Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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