C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
