kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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