Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
