Everything about him screamed your future.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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