so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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