is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
