Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
