i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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