I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize