why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
