My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
The best revenge is premature balding
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
