i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
you are never too drunk for berry picking
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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