i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
