We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
