my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
