It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
