i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
You took a bar mat shot.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
