i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize