What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
