just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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