Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
false alarm, still single
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
