Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
