I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
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