I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
