Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Randomize
