Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
