Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
