an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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