Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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