you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Holy shit dude........stairs
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
