every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize