I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
