Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
