do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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