She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
