He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
