She announced her abortion via fbk
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
