Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
