Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I want a musical about memes.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
