I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
