still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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