What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
