Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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