I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I wish you could order shots online.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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