Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
