I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
